Seeking Jubilee
To Single Women Seeking Jubilee,
After the conversation I had the other night with one of my girlfriends,’ it became very clear what communication topic I should address in this Edition. And that topic is texting.
One of the hardest things for women over 40 to do is to date. At least for most of the women I know. You'd think by the time you reach your 40s you'd have enough wisdom to dish out all of the advice you can to young women but all too often you find you still have so much to learn yourself.
But let's get back to my friend. She was so upset and has been for years about finding a good man that will treat her the way she wants to be treated. (And by the way she isn't alone on that one.) And that treatment doesn't include chatting and texting only.
All too often we women over 40 find it hard to meet men any other way but through dating sites. Okay, for those of you who wouldn't dare try this, this is how it works. You go online to one of the sites and sign up with a user name and password. You create a profile, put up a picture, and for the less aggressive types like me, you wait and wait and wait (Lol!) for a guy to express interest. Then the two of you start chatting on the site. Typically, he starts off with hi or hello. Then you respond with the same. Then, more small talk on the chat.
Well this chatting continues until you say to yourself, "This is getting on my nerves." Still as much as it does irritate you, he's a guy and you want a date so the chatting reluctantly continues. At some point, he may ask you for your number. If he asks you for your number, as pathetic as this sounds, there is some glimmer of hope. However, after awhile that hope gets a dose of reality and to your dismay the chatting now turns into texting.
According to Evan Marc Katz's blog on why do guys send texts, guys acrossAmerica
In the midst of writing this article, I decided to get a quote from my friend. (The one that originally sparked the topic for this article.) Here's what she had to say about texting in a relationship, "Texting originated as SMS (short messaging service) during the 90's. The texts were only to include a few words like, "I'm running late," "I'm on my way," etc. We have taken it to a whole other level, when this becomes some people's only form of communication. What's worse is some people don't realize there is a spell check or will make up words to communicate their thought. Smh!" Well said. So true. Lol!
Another friend of mine, Tawanda had this to say about texting, "Texting in a relationship is okay when there is already a relationship because your communication style is less likely to be misunderstood or taken out of context. Texting is not okay when you are just warming up or breaking up." Great point. When I asked her how she would feel if texting was his only form of communication during the relationship she politely said, "Then it's not a relationship." Even better point.
My cousin LaTonya says, "Texting is just a means of communicating with someone quickly. If you're in a relationship, you need to communicate. And texting is not a proper way to communicate. It shows no emotion. Communicating your emotions in a relationship is what builds a relationship. That's how you get to know each other. Texting doesn't allow you to communicate that emotion. You can't use an instrument that has no way to communicate real genuine emotion to build or enhance a relationship. Women who accept it are validating men who say they don't like to talk on the phone. And that's bull crap because if you really want something, you're going to do what you need to do to go get it." LT you are right. If they really want something......
To sum it up, texting has it’s place. It's a way to communicate some quick information and not a form of communication to build a lasting relationship. Evan Marc Katz says the next time he texts you tell him in a flirty manner that the way to your heart is through his voice. I like that Evan. And if I may, I like to add, "After that, if he doesn't get it, then maybe he doesn't get you. And you are a queen who is worth getting."
To Single Women Seeking Jubilee,
After the conversation I had the other night with one of my girlfriends,’ it became very clear what communication topic I should address in this Edition. And that topic is texting.
One of the hardest things for women over 40 to do is to date. At least for most of the women I know. You'd think by the time you reach your 40s you'd have enough wisdom to dish out all of the advice you can to young women but all too often you find you still have so much to learn yourself.
But let's get back to my friend. She was so upset and has been for years about finding a good man that will treat her the way she wants to be treated. (And by the way she isn't alone on that one.) And that treatment doesn't include chatting and texting only.
All too often we women over 40 find it hard to meet men any other way but through dating sites. Okay, for those of you who wouldn't dare try this, this is how it works. You go online to one of the sites and sign up with a user name and password. You create a profile, put up a picture, and for the less aggressive types like me, you wait and wait and wait (Lol!) for a guy to express interest. Then the two of you start chatting on the site. Typically, he starts off with hi or hello. Then you respond with the same. Then, more small talk on the chat.
Well this chatting continues until you say to yourself, "This is getting on my nerves." Still as much as it does irritate you, he's a guy and you want a date so the chatting reluctantly continues. At some point, he may ask you for your number. If he asks you for your number, as pathetic as this sounds, there is some glimmer of hope. However, after awhile that hope gets a dose of reality and to your dismay the chatting now turns into texting.
According to Evan Marc Katz's blog on why do guys send texts, guys across
In the midst of writing this article, I decided to get a quote from my friend. (The one that originally sparked the topic for this article.) Here's what she had to say about texting in a relationship, "Texting originated as SMS (short messaging service) during the 90's. The texts were only to include a few words like, "I'm running late," "I'm on my way," etc. We have taken it to a whole other level, when this becomes some people's only form of communication. What's worse is some people don't realize there is a spell check or will make up words to communicate their thought. Smh!" Well said. So true. Lol!
Another friend of mine, Tawanda had this to say about texting, "Texting in a relationship is okay when there is already a relationship because your communication style is less likely to be misunderstood or taken out of context. Texting is not okay when you are just warming up or breaking up." Great point. When I asked her how she would feel if texting was his only form of communication during the relationship she politely said, "Then it's not a relationship." Even better point.
My cousin LaTonya says, "Texting is just a means of communicating with someone quickly. If you're in a relationship, you need to communicate. And texting is not a proper way to communicate. It shows no emotion. Communicating your emotions in a relationship is what builds a relationship. That's how you get to know each other. Texting doesn't allow you to communicate that emotion. You can't use an instrument that has no way to communicate real genuine emotion to build or enhance a relationship. Women who accept it are validating men who say they don't like to talk on the phone. And that's bull crap because if you really want something, you're going to do what you need to do to go get it." LT you are right. If they really want something......
To sum it up, texting has it’s place. It's a way to communicate some quick information and not a form of communication to build a lasting relationship. Evan Marc Katz says the next time he texts you tell him in a flirty manner that the way to your heart is through his voice. I like that Evan. And if I may, I like to add, "After that, if he doesn't get it, then maybe he doesn't get you. And you are a queen who is worth getting."
Yours in Favor of Limited Texting,
LaVerna Saunders
Just One Communications
LaVerna Saunders is a woman of highest caliber. She is a sales professional, former radio talk show host, and my former Blog Talk Radio Co-Host. LaVerna’s energetic, upbeat approach to her work and to life in general is unmatched. LaVerna is especially savvy in articulating the nuances of the male-female relationship dynamic. LaVerna is an experienced presenter, Emcee, and trainer in a variety of fields. LaVerna is credited with bringing many aspects of Jubilee News, of WHEN MEN SPEAK and other aspects of James’ Encouragement Is Key network from concept to life. Jubilee News wishes to express its sincere appreciation for all of LaVerna’s contributions both past and present.
Just One Communications
LaVerna Saunders is a woman of highest caliber. She is a sales professional, former radio talk show host, and my former Blog Talk Radio Co-Host. LaVerna’s energetic, upbeat approach to her work and to life in general is unmatched. LaVerna is especially savvy in articulating the nuances of the male-female relationship dynamic. LaVerna is an experienced presenter, Emcee, and trainer in a variety of fields. LaVerna is credited with bringing many aspects of Jubilee News, of WHEN MEN SPEAK and other aspects of James’ Encouragement Is Key network from concept to life. Jubilee News wishes to express its sincere appreciation for all of LaVerna’s contributions both past and present.
No comments:
Post a Comment